How We Can Learn From Hard Truths

There are truths in life that are hard to accept. These facts most often attribute to your growth and progress. In my early years, I was lost and kept searching for a place where I will feel most alive. Just like many coming-of-age stories, I did stupid things that brought me to such bad places of insecurity and anxiety. Along the way, I built myself up again and learned some of these hard truths that I think everyone should know about as early as they can.

Happiness is Where you are now, or Nowhere at All

Does the “where” here denote a location or a place? Apparently, it doesn’t. If you are a Marvel fan and familiar with the multiverse, it works that way. The difference is this is not a cinematic universe. This is real life. Hence, I can say that our multiverse is the time frame that we locked ourselves into. These may be moments from the past or the future. Happiness is where you are now, or nowhere at all because we keep on fantasizing of this joy we created in the future that we forget that somewhere in the past we dreamt of this “happy” place where we are right now. It is often overlooked but happiness is who you are at this moment. The versions of ourselves we keep on creating in other time frames to validate our happiness makes us drift away from being happy now. Although, I have to put a disclaimer that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s real and valid to be sad but what’s important is we know how to acknowledge that there is still happiness even during sad times. Also, it’s not bad to dream of becoming happier in the near future but what’s essential is we know that we may be happy from here onward.

Again, happiness is where you are now, or nowhere at all.

Quitting is for Winners

In every cheer or motivational quote, you’ll hear “winners never quit,” but I beg to disagree. To reiterate, winners know when to quit. I stand by this statement because knowing when to give up is a skill necessary for success. However, this shouldn’t diminish one’s will and perseverance towards their goals. It just simply means that acknowledging the possibility of quitting is essential in focusing on what matters most to you and what you think is not working for you. If you believe in the concept of fate, this is where Que Sera Sera takes charge. Whatever will be, will be. In line with this advice is a reassessment of oneself always by checking your progress, revisiting your purpose and goal, and asking yourself the necessary questions at the moment. Always see yourself in situations that benefit you the most. Another disclaimer is, sometimes, it doesn’t need to make sense to others or to you because as humans, mistakes are part of who we are. The second time we do it is what I call a choice. So always choose wisely.

Not Trying at all is the Biggest Form of Failure

If regret is a ringtone, I would assume it sounds like an endless “what if”. It’s a call that always bothers you but you can’t answer it nor silence it. This sums up what “Not trying at all is the biggest form of failure” means because you failed yourself by not having the confidence and courage to step out of your comfort zone. By not trying, you have failed to explore the unknown side of yourself and to surpass the limits you have given yourself. You might think it’s ironic that before this advice was about quitting, but mind you that quitting is different from not starting. Here, I encourage everyone to take the first steps in the things that they want to do because that step will open opportunities for you. In failing, you know what to improve in but by not trying you won’t even know you can.

Hold Yourself Accountable

We are always taught to be critical of societal issues, injustices toward us, or even other people’s lives but there is always this pride that hinders us from being critical towards ourselves. Well, to be fair, who would even want to see themselves dirty in the mirror? I bet a few but if we continue to create an illusion that we are always clean and right, we’ll end up getting dirtier. The reason why I need to hold myself accountable is to fulfill my role and purpose in whatever actions I am doing. It doesn’t always mean when I am hurt, I’m right nor when I have internal issues, I’m excused. In every situation, look back on what roles you play and see if you have wronged other people or other things that contributed to the conflict you have right now. You don’t need to be solely accountable for the pain and trauma that others caused you but you are responsible for how it affects you in how you treat other people. This advice is limited to my personal, and professional connections but is limited when there’s a system incorporated that greatly affects how I behave.

If I Don’t Choose Myself, Who else Will?

This is my favorite advice for everyone because just like the Ben&Ben song “Pipiliin Ka Sa Araw araw” [I’ll Choose You Everyday], it is a song that I can sing for myself as the song revolves around choosing “someone” everyday and that someone is me. Aside from the excuse of being single, it’s more about if I don’t choose myself, who else will? There are times that we think that other people saved us therefore we owe our lives to them. Little did we know, along the process we took part in that salvation one way or another. Choosing myself isn’t selfish, it’s my moral duty. I am the host of this body, mind, and soul and I am responsible for caring, cultivating, and connecting these to the world. Choosing myself doesn’t need to be grandiose or patterned to others but it is about embracing all of myself. It is about choosing the option that makes me whole in every situation. In every decision, following my morals and honor alongside considering how it will affect relevant people in my life. It is about me just like it is about you. Stop looking for a place that will choose you because you can be a place yourself and it is only fitting you make a home for it.

All of these hard truths exist because for me, it’s how we are deprived of communicating about it. As the world progresses, now is the time to engage in conversations for self-development and start it by accepting these hard truths.