Homesick Bitterness: Dealing with Anxiety after Transferring to a New School

How do you feel when you visit a country that you’ve never been to before? Perhaps you want to see the beauty and experience all of the attractions all at once? Or, how about this…You find yourself in a completely unfamiliar environment feeling lost because you don’t fit in.

Moving to a new environment may be a brutal mission to conquer, but it’s no mission impossible. Despite all of the happy-go-lucky-themed films about the main character going away for a wholesome adventure overseas, that is usually not the scenario you’ll get. According to psychologists, moving is one of the most stressful experiences in a person’s life. Separating friends, comfortable surroundings, and adjusting routines, which you are so used to doing, generates anxiety for everyone included.

I, Nicole, know this because I have spent my entire youth at the same school and only relocated during senior high school. Staying in one location for over 13 years is an experience I can’t explain. The school became my second home, but I no longer felt like I was developing there. I felt so comfortable that I memorized all the best rooms with the coldest air conditioning, the jocks’ hangout place, the area to get the best food for recess, and more. When I realized that I was in that exact position, I just knew I had to leave. Doubt then creeped up behind my mind. My mind told me that if I leave, I would have to build myself all over again. It felt like I was living in a universe where only a paradox existed. I felt sick to my stomach about moving. But then it hit me, I realized that there was a whole new system outside that I had never experienced.

Maybe you felt the same way too, maybe you have thought the same things as well. Therefore, we will comfort you and guide you in this swirl of overthinking and doubt.

The first few days of school may seem easy in your head, but once confronted with reality, the anxiety inside you will try to scratch its way out of you. Not everyone may experience it, but like the authors of this article, surely most people have. The anxiety may build up slowly from an irregular breathing pattern to fidgeting nonstop. This sounds like your own personal hell, and it was for me. Though this ‘hell’ seemed torturous, I was able to thrive and conquer my anxiety attacks and see the other perspective. I was blinded before because of all the negativity in my mind. The advice that kept me, Mira, grounded and motivated me to persevere was, “to get through it is to get through it. In the end, it will always make you stronger and wiser.” In the end, these feelings improved my way of handling myself. Through perseverance, I was able to endure my inner struggles and come out on the other side stronger than ever, confident enough to take more risks.

You shouldn’t worry. You will meet more people, discover new activities and hobbies, learn more about yourself, and grow from your surroundings. You grow by going through what you go through. People might think it’s too scary to change your environment, but it can be very beneficial for you in the long run. I’ve gathered up all my advice on how to be a boss at transferring to different environments and would like to share it with you:

1. Keep in Mind That You’re All in the Same Situation.
   If you are feeling anxious, you’re not alone. Getting wrapped up in your own emotions might cause you to lose sight of the fact that every transferee is going through the same thing as you. Everyone, including the professors, will be anxious at the beginning of a new semester.

   To be reminded of this will bring you at least enough confidence to reach out to other new students and share whatever you both are going through. You will create a strong bond, and you will also be able to ease down your anxiety a little bit by having some company. Having company nowadays is rare and super valuable now that we are isolated in our own homes, where we deal with only our minds. Therefore, you must never neglect the chance to socialize as much as you can before your mind takes over those actions of yours. Sometimes, you have to remember the phrase “YOLO.” You only live once, so take every chance you have regardless of what you feel. It will always be an advantage once you think with your mind then your heart in situations that involve opportunity and risk-taking.

2. A Little Optimism Never Hurt Anyone
   A wonderful approach to master your new lifestyle is by romanticizing it. Even if it may not constantly work, that’s all right. With this, you will be able to gain a sense of self-awareness with a healthier, responsible mindset. To understand this concept deeper, here are some example scenarios that may help:

   An unromanticized life would be snoozing the alarm multiple times. A sigh you let out as you consider the hard work week ahead of you… hating the brightness of the sun. Perhaps, you forget to eat breakfast. The only time you realize that was when the teacher said, “have a good lunch, ladies!” Then you eat alone since you found comfort in your isolation along with the fear of meeting different folks that would cause you to assume the worst of them.

   Now, you decide to live a life that is romanticized. You wake up in the morning with the sun shining on your face, absorbing all the warmth and vitamins the sun emits. You take some time to meditate and appreciate the life around you, rather than dwelling on the cons of your situation. With that time of self-reflection, you grab up your delicious breakfast to appreciate your environment. You choose that sweater you always wanted to wear because that makes you feel proud. You’re thrilled to approach new people who will teach you new things because of their intellectual pursuits despite the assumptions your head tries to make you believe. You look beyond the picture and accept that there is so much in people and, in this case, the school you don’t know. Be willing to step outside the box and learn through the process instead of closing yourself off.

   It is like having the guts to not delete anxiety, but to be courageous enough to welcome positivity that can help treat our anxiety more healthily. Keep in mind that positivity can be deceiving or toxic. You can always make time to meditate and ground yourself, and/or study about the topic to prevent this from happening. To take action despite what you feel single-handed will make you believe how strong you are, and this moral can help you tons. Feel free to be yourself and set boundaries; never hesitate to communicate how you feel, because I am sure the other new students would love to feel important as well by being approached. Try out different activities that you can enjoy accomplishing on your own. It lays the groundwork for you to appreciate how wonderful life can be when there is nobody there to be with you, and maybe this experience will motivate you to get yourself out there without having to feel so fearful or pressured. Take your time!

3. Life is Full of Change.
   To say it bluntly: you will always be scared, you are wasting your time trying to shun it away for good. But that should not bring you down. To carry fear is not the absence of bravery; you just have to prioritize your courage rather than give in to the fear. For a little guidance, learn to embrace this feeling as part of your daily routine. You could alter your routine to one that considers your feelings. Take this for example, you are usually less anxious at night, hence, you could adjust your study time at night to keep things calmer for you. Then at times, you feel more panicked, you could do personal hobbies like crocheting or even gaming.

   Being forced to come out of your comfort zone is a good thing, and you must always remind yourself that, for what is the purpose of always being comfortable? You will not learn valuable life lessons. When it comes down to it, we don’t learn about life when we’re in school. We learn these through living life itself to the fullest. Confront your fears and transform them into enthusiasm. Think optimistically about the future and be adaptable. Not everyone will adjust to you, and that is a good thing. You will be allowed to expand your personality, become more mature. Not to mention that it will make you a more well-rounded individual as well due to the skills you’ve mastered in your experiences.

   An article I read a while back said to do a test run when transferring schools. The first several weeks will be a time to observe your sentiments and compare them to your expectations. You may be shocked, but in the future, things will be easier to accomplish since you already learned how to handle a major transition independently back then.

4. Your Mind is Opened Up to More Possibilities And Mindsets When You Transfer.
   Every school has its unique personality. As a result, each student will acknowledge their set of strengths and weaknesses. We tend to overlook that school procedures are done differently in other places after we’ve been in the same area for a long time. Experiencing a new school community may teach you many significant lessons. Like a strength you never realized you have had before, or a weakness you need to improve on. Isn’t that a blessing? With a new school comes a new set of perspectives and ideas. You bring a unique viewpoint to the table, allowing you to make valuable contributions in fresh ways. Seize every opportunity that seeks your liking and you will not be disappointed. Always remember you are more capable than you think!

5. Make New Connections
   With new connections come new life lessons. As a result of interacting with new individuals, you are exposed to innovative thinking. In essence, the more people you meet, the more you learn about a wide range of topics as a result. And through gaining more information, you’ll be able to see why it is so vital to see things from multiple perspectives. Creating new bonds will also allow you to handle things with fewer burdens, and who wouldn’t want that? Everyone certainly needs someone to share their lives with.

   It may be a tough challenge to keep yourself mentally stable throughout the days of transferring and adjusting. Yes, it is easier said than done, but the result is far more rewarding than you may think. There will always be struggles that will be hard to beat, but those will be the only struggles that will help you grow into the person you see yourself to be in the future. To persevere and convince yourself that you will never be alone in the feelings you experience is already two steps forward to your character development. But of course, take your time; everyone grows at different paces. A skip forward in your progress would be to accept this change and adjust to it. Being able to adjust your way of thinking is a challenge, but when you get comfortable in doing so, things will be much easier than you think. Whenever you’re in a rut, remind yourself of advice number 3. Change is inevitable, and growth is part of it, never give in to the cons of this transformation and back down from the great risk you took. Keep in mind that you made the right decision in getting out of your comfort zone. You must never skip the chance to take advantage of being a new student! There will be so many connections and possibilities you can encounter that will aid you in being your utmost exceptional self.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama